• Chef Carla Peluso

Rejection is a Gift

{Essay from a Random, Heart-Based Solopreneur}

Life is full of rejection. Whether relationships of any kind, business ventures or creative projects, rejection is a gift. Not because we are ever a glutton for punishment. Or because we enjoy being turned down. Instead, we need to consider it in a different way.


We all have those deep, childhood wounds of being picked last on the playground for kickball, turned down by our crush at the school dance, or having a close family member make us feel less than worthy of time, love, and attention.


These experiences author the worth of our soul and lodge in our subconscious.


Have you ever been in a conversation with someone, make a benign comment, then realize from their reaction, you’ve hit a nerve. Confused at first, you see their points of pain are different from yours, though all rooted in exclusion.


Rejection hurts. Most of us would prefer a physical injury due to some unforeseeable circumstance over the rebuff of someone we have openly asked for connection. The deeper the vulnerability of the “ask,” the more complex the pain.


Some handle this by walling themselves off emotionally to those around them, attempting to conduct business or personal lives through logic and analytical feedback. Others reject before they are rejected, feeling a sense of control and superiority. Then there are those who are kind, giving, open, and willing to be rejected.


Did you resonate with any of these? Did you feel “sorry” for that last person I described? I am not encouraging anyone to be a doormat. In fact, self-respect is an admirable quality in any situation.


•Let’s look at this from the reverse•


Have you ever rejected someone? Their business plan or proposal? Romantic or friendship advances?


Why?


Okay, yes...many times our brokenness causes us to react differently than we should. However, if we are self-aware in the lightest form of the word, it is typically because it doesn’t sit well with us. It wasn’t our vision for the project, the personalities are not communicating well, or there is a lack of forward motion.


I recently had a conversation with a local entrepreneur; Jonathan League owns an axe throwing business in East Nashville and has built it from the ground up. We were discussing the challenges of finding the right employees for certain positions. I was struggling with the decision to go a different direction with some hires I made. Jonathan expressed by keeping an employee in a position which wasn’t working, I was also keeping them from finding employment in which they would find fulfillment and joy.


Paradigm shift. Here I thought I was being “nice” by keeping an employee which didn’t seem happy, and the output was unsatisfactory. When really the kind thing to do is sever the link, so another stronger, more compatible connection could be made for the employee, and for myself.


•When a rejection is made, even if less- than respectful, attempt to look at it in a different way•


•That person, situation, relationship, business deal isn’t for you. Your time, energy, intellect, emotions, are being protected for what IS in your best interest•


I understand this is easier said (or written in this case) than done. I also understand the wave of emotion which hits me when I am feeling an impending or executed rejection. It’s breathtakingly painful. However, like many things in life, the battle is fought first in the mind.


•Allow yourself the feeling. Then, endeavor to make new thought patterns which reflect rejection as an act of protection from the Universe•


•A gift to allow you freedom to pursue and find what gets you out of bed in the morning. What’s hard work, yet effortless. The mental space to recognize what’s been seeking you•


📷 Marcus Serrano 🧠 Jonathan League

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Spring Hill, TN 37174

© 2020 With Chef Carla

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